By Kasha Rokshana
United in vision, resonant in desires, collaborative in lifestyle, catalytic in relationship, loving over all…
This is what it means to be with true soul family in my experience of it, where nothing real is transcended and is deeply felt instead, the intensity of offering mirrors to each other is not abusive, and the LOVE holding us in a sacred bubble while we deepen our purity within and together is palpable.
So many holiday seasons did I spend in disconnect with those around me, namely birth family. There were joys and there was abundance, more so than for many others, but the tensions were never addressed or deeply felt, just allowed to grow into a huge SNAP and subsequent unleashing onto one another. Fur flew, our mouths breathing fire in unfair judgments while chaos ensued, yet not ever resolve. I don’t remember much resolution in the space, only someone giving in sooner or later and often out of fear of truly leaving the picture and choosing aloneness for a phase.
I was especially fiery at times, parts/aspects of me furious that family members weren’t also awakening, that they weren’t really listening, and that I was still being treated like the ‘kid’ of the family on top of it all. The holidays were a mix, especially beyond 14 years old when my spirituality was evolving beyond the Catholic sphere and indoctrination of my childhood and I was also learning so much about myself. My awakening was both inward and outward and it was a lot to try and reconcile.
It has taken some time to be able to let in the soul family connections and intimacy that I have now, as over the last decade since meeting Raphael and Jelelle, I’ve had to feel parts of me who projected so easily onto them and other soul family members the same reality I was born into. These projections were necessary though. We can’t feel the pain that’s surfacing when parts of us project if we don’t, in a way, allow space for it to happen.
This process also created a way to feel the stark contrast between what I was born into and what my soul was choosing now… a much more sovereign journey, an empowerment from the heart, and a willingness to feel what’s at stake in these deeper intimacies in my life at all times… that they are a lot to lose and indeed I’ve had to let go of them a few times to sort out so much inside. I did this willingly in order to come back into the room with much more appreciation, more maturity and readiness, and deeper surrender to the love between us as well which is always purifying itself and each of us too.
This holiday season especially feels like a poignant one as dissonances become amplified and thus, so does the fighting, the trying to be heard, the needing to be right, and the desires to ultimately be with those who resonate, which can be quite painful as that ache intensifies.
I feel you, those of you who are on the brink of making a choice… to stay with birth family or even to stay alone as the Lone Wolf inside you may prefer, or to choose to pursue the journey of drawing soul family resonance and intimacy. It’s really the same journey if you’ve been in a dissonant romance as well yet ache to be with the man/woman that would truly be in your frequency bandwidth… and it’s all so challenging, especially this time of year too, for many.
My soul family of SoulFullHeart, along with our many parts and soul aspects we’ve met over the years, are here as but one option of where this desire for resonance and unity may take you. The doorway is 1:1 sessions yet also by-donation group calls on Zoom. If you’re curious to find out more, visit soulfullheart.org – our online expression of who we are and what we’re here to offer and become more and more every day.
From my ever-awakening heart to yours, Kasha ♥️
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Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit her page for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.