April, 2024

 

In the twelve years since I began working with people, I am so honored to again be at a renewed place offering not only a role as a ‘spaceholder,’ but also an energetic template and guide as one who continues to embody soul growth through the Divine Self Embodiment process. 

 

I’d love to take you and assist you into your discovery and transformation of parts of yourself and soul aspects. In it all, there is the coming together of your connection to the Divine as the Divine being you are. There is also the very important piece of leaving no part of you transcended, behind or excluded. Then, there is the knowing and feeling all of this in your body, increasing in your real life and daily experience. 

 

As a young boy, being raised in a Christian home and setting, I felt a connection to the Divine that felt real and curious to me. Growing up for the first nine years in a small town in northern BC, Canada, felt so enchanting to me to have wilderness and boyhood adventures right outside my door. Then moving south, closer to Vancouver, Canada gave way to more of a city life, with teen years wandering through the search for identity and meaning and particularly, self worth. 

 

My innate connection to the Divine became more and more clouded by the Christian overlay of good and evil, the devil and satan, fear of separation from God, etc. I had such a strong yearning to experience more of a heaven inside that I knew was possible, yet I couldn’t feel that manifest anywhere around me. 

 

In my teen years, I experienced deep palpable feelings of an ‘inferiority complex,’ the only words I found to describe what I felt inside. I wanted so desperately to be free of feelings of deep unworthiness and incompetence. I prayed a desperate prayer one day that I still recall, where I told God that “unless you deliver me from this hell, you won’t be able count on me to amount to anything with my life.” Three weeks later, the moment of which I also recall to this day, it dawned on me that I hadn’t felt those clouds since the day I had prayed that desperate prayer. 

 

I didn’t know it at the time, but ‘God’ who became my hope of escaping and transcending the emotional turmoil I felt inside, was really my own Inner Protector, (a key part of each of us that I help others differentiate and form a relationship with inside of themselves).

 

I felt I owed a debt of gratitude to the Christian God and wanted to go deeper into what I felt were the only things that mattered, serving him and helping others find their way with him as well. 

 

Life unfolded soon into diverting from a post high school career path into Bible School and hopes of becoming a traveling missionary, preacher, living a life of meaning, purpose and fulfillment, along with having influence. Marriage and family soon unfolded. Missionary dreams topped out at several longer stay visits to numerous countries, but never quite reaching the coveted ‘full time ministry’ status. I also gave myself to the rigors of being a self employed painting contractor as a way of livelihood in Canada, that ended up being a part of my life for over three decades. 

 

Over the years of married life, church life, and raising two daughters during the 1980’s and 90’s, I began to intuitively feel, trust and validate a genuine Divine connection that felt outside of and in conflict with Christianity. 

 

After dispensing with so many Christian teachings, I came to the place where I truly didn’t ‘believe in Jesus as my personal savior’ any longer in the ways Christians believe that, in the ways I myself had believed, practiced and taught it so intently. 

 

In 2005, I left my marriage of 23 years as well as my entire social world that was completely oriented to Christianity.

 

I knew that I had so much more to learn and experience outside of Christianity. Contrary to the fears of so many around me, as well as the fears of a previous version of me, I didn’t feel deceived or backslidden, but to the contrary, liberated into a whole new unfolding and beginning world. 

 

I was immediately drawn to a spiritual and emotional healing group based in Ashland, Oregon. By participating and traveling monthly to have personal sessions and seminar experiences, I was afforded a three year experience of deep healing and transformation mixed with what felt like unresolved deep shadow in the gifted founder of the group. It was just weeks before I left this group that Jelelle and I came together as a couple after knowing each other during the three years. She even served as my facilitator for a time. Our coming together was the trigger on the catapult that ejected us from this group and deeply valued heart home at the time, and popped us into our own desires to create a setting in which we could serve and draw together others.

 

Jelelle and I share our story and backgrounds much more deeply in our book, Under The Bloated Banyan: Our Sacred Union Journey from False Light to True Love

 

So again, in 2008, I found myself in a brand new world. Friends and family of old, including two precious adult daughters, were somewhat relieved that I was out of the ‘cult’ they perceived me to have been a part of. Who I had become, however, wasn’t palatable or bridgeable into any kind of ongoing relationship. 

 

My yearnings of continued growth as well as soul purpose expression had to find a new container in which to flourish. That container was immediately apparent as being my unfolding relationship with Jelelle and showing up for all that it called me to.

 

Layer after layer of old conditioning continued to fall away through many intense, but manageable, ‘death and rebirth’ moments. Beginning from scratch, without any friends or family connections, I learned lesson after lesson as I embraced all the parts of me in grief and loss of losing ‘everything’ for a second time all over again, yet gaining an equally challenging and fulfilling new romance relationship at the same time. 

 

A personal challenge for me was the feeling that I felt done with embracing established spiritual or healing paradigms, led by something or someone outside of me for a place of service and belonging. I needed to come to terms with truly not only being called to lead, but actually leading and then truly embodying that. 

 

I would need to go on to discover, heal, feel and reveal what lurked in my shadow, especially as I could feel how much of my power had been placed in shadow for safekeeping. After lifetimes of playing small, and keeping my bigness at bay, this life was destined to go to the other side of that. 

 

Lower frequency 3D and masculine expectations of ‘making something big happen’ for personal shadow validation would all have to go through purification through death and rebirth. Finding and feeling every part of me stuck in unworthiness, or penance for harm caused in other lifetimes, or grief over lost connections from getting too big, would all be confronted, as Jelelle and I set out to offer our own work and soul family connection point.

 

Letting go of attainments, and safe familiarities would continue to show up again and again as I chose my next places of growth, involving leaving a lucrative and comfortable career to not knowing where or how the next income would arise, being a beginner in holding space for others, leaving Canada behind, going largely ‘nomadic’ for a period of eight years, that matched and served the internal moving on that was happening. 

 

I rebuilt a relationship with Yeshua from the ashes of his Christian portrayal to knowing him intimately as a vital guide. He showed me the way into experiencing a rich and vibrant relationship with both Divine Mother, and Divine Father and many other soul family etheric guides that would prove to be a lifeline in the unfolding joys, sorrows, celebrations and challenges.

 

The Sacred Union journey with Jelelle over the past 15 years has also been such a deep learning ground and forms so much of what I can offer you. Showing up for the initial romance rigors to all that’s called for in a pair-bond, Counterpart mate, Divine Union relationship involved repeatedly completing old grounds and stepping into new territory together, without which, we wouldn’t have sustained. 

 

Some of the growth and learning themes along the way that undergird what I offer to others are:

 

• Not allowing the fear of losing connection with others to stop the expression of my soul bigness 

• Leaving behind old patterns of duty and obligation and the smallness configurations associated with that

• Loving the logical, linear and measuring conditioning in me, but not allowing it to limit deep intuitive knowing and experience. Balancing the feminine and masculine aspects of my being

• Not just wanting deep transparent intimacy and meaningful connections with others, but being willing to lead and embody that, to truly and uninhibitedly let my light shine 

• Accepting, feeling and grieving losses allowing them to usher me into the next phase of soul growth embodiment for me instead of overstaying in a suffering/holding pattern

• Allowing my self image to more accurately reflect who I am, what I’ve become and the many epic growths I’ve chosen along the way 

• Letting my dreamer dream of the more that I can feel wants to come, to arise and to lead

• To not play victim to my soul’s capacity to bond with powerful women/mates who bring the most fulfillment and the next places of challenge and growth

• To deeply trust love and the superabundant reality for all of my needs, fulfillments and pleasures. 

• To truly love every soul no matter how contracted or big I perceive them to be, as the divine being they are, to let genuine care and transparency lead instead of self-consciousness, fear and protection/projection. 

 

Some of the ways that I’d like to be of service to you:

 

• Help you create meaningful relationships with every part of you that wants and needs your love and attention

• Help you bridge to soul aspects of your being that influence your life experience allowing you and them to transform in the process

• Help you make genuine movements towards inhabiting more of your soul purpose expression

• Help you move through and complete relationships that no longer serve you

• Help you embody Sacred Union with yourself, with a mate and others, and with the Divine

• Help you inhabit your divine masculine or divine feminine expression in each area of your life 

 

There’s a big playground here, big enough for a big soul like you. :) If I can help you personally, one to one, reach out to me. Let’s see what we can cook up. 

 

Much love, 

Raphael Awen

Central Portugal

April, 2024

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Prior to having a 1:1 session with me, we highly recommend a free intro with me for men to explore the process and community to see if there is a deeper resonance there, where we will go in the session, which session to have, what prep work to do, etc.

Sessions with me (in person here in Central Portugal or over Zoom) focusing on Divine connection, self healing or embodiment healing are 55-100 euros sliding scale per 75-90 minutes. 

 

We also highly recommend taking in more about the Divine Self Embodiment process through sharings from us to get more sense of what we are offering and feel into your resonance and draw with it. You can watch the many videos on our YouTube Channel, and read writings on our blog, my social media pages on FB, IG, and twitter, and books, especially my latest book with Jelelle sharing about our sacred union journey beginnings Under The Bloated Banyan: From False Light To True Love and Free To Be 5D: Navigating Ascension From The Inside Out.

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Experience of the DSE paradigm and process is also offered through group events such amonthly group calls withJelelle and me, plus local events.